Friday, December 21, 2007

there is a person in my life right now that this is about. just don't get mad or offended reading this. to say the truth i'm just not strong enough to come right out and tell them.
i don't want to be friends with you anymore.
you are not the person i thought you were
you've changed so much in the past few months
or maybe you haven't changed at all
and this is how you have always been
it just seems like now i'm really noticing
because you're allowed to come out of your shell
when your held back in a world of safety
and you're around people you influence
you have to watch your every move and every word
but that world is gone
the real you shows
and that's not the person i thought i was friends with
why can't you just change back to the person you were before
that person was such a good friend
and a great person to talk to
this "change" makes me not want to trust you with my feelings
i don't feel like you are a person i can come to now
when you keep secrets from me,
how can you expect me to trust you
some secrets, i agree, are better left unsaid
some of your secrets are things about you that i did not want to know
it was even an accident that i did know
you never tell me anything on your own
i have to find out for my own
so why should i tell you my secrets
there are closer people i know,
people i love and people i can trust
people i know i know.
you have even drifted from God
even if you say you haven't
the way you do things and express yourself
show me that you have
if someone met you,
wouldn't you want them to know you love God?
but you don't
you curse, you drink, you... do other things, too
but you say these things make you happy
that they keep you from hiding your true self
well if this is your true self then i don't know if i want to know you
the reason i still talk to you is because i keep hoping for the old you
but if i met you, the person you are now, now,
then i don't think you would be a person i would be friends with

sorry if this hurts but i had to get it out
i hope we can still be friends
i really do want to be friends with you
and i know i should accept you for whoever you are
but it's just so hard
i haven't even known you that long
and i'm not asking you to change
i really just want you to be faithful to God
i think this might be why i don't like you
i am finally getting closer to God
and the one person i thought i could talk to about it
is gone and drifting
from me and God
how can i talk about getting closer
to someone who's getting further
you might not be getting further
but i know you aren't growing closer
how could you be?
you certainly don't show it.


1 comment:

gavin richardson said...

thank you for being so transparent and sharing emily. dare i say, i share many of your sentiments.